I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
