Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Randomize
