Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
