These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize