The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
