This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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