just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
