shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You are the jesus of drinking
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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