She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
