this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize
