actually, I'm a sock model
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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