So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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