we're blogging at a bar
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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