idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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