Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
