"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
