People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
