What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
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