I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
