i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize