I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
