That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Randomize