Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
