I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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