scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
