Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
