I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize