i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
