This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
