You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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