I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Randomize
