Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
