Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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