That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
