Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
