we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize