I think I am morally bankrupt
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize