You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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