Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
two words...techno handjob
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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