So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
she peed on how many people?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
