Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
