I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
