Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
