Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
