What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
try to milk me bitch
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize