Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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