just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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