You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize