If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
