you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
