I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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