I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
