now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
