I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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