look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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