ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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