Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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