okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
