maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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