the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
The power of my boobs compel you
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
